When unfavorable situations, actions and emotional conflicts happen again and again in your life, when it's the same scene, different characters —there’s a good chance you are in the presence of a negative “pattern”
One of the most valuable skillsets you can learn are ones that help you when you are stuck in a negative pattern. Stuck even when you KNOW the pattern is negative, unhealthy, or unwanted.
Some Examples...
Making the wrong food choices, picking the wrong lovers/partners, abreactions to stress, chronic money struggle, people-pleasing, emotional eating, and smoking to name a few. At best, these negative patterns cause frustration. At worst, they cause undue suffering, anxiety, depression, and sometimes even death.
The Good News...
You have the power to change these negative patterns. Below are some ways to begin to disrupt them so that you can start laying down new, more positive patterns.
Step 1: Become Aware
No matter how entrenched a pattern seems, the act of moving from autopilot to noticing begins the shift away from damaging thoughts or behaviors.
Put simply, you can’t change a pattern until you become aware of it.
One way to become aware is to just sit with your thoughts and watch for the patterns without judging the situation. The goal here is to notice, that’s all.
In this step, focus your awareness on just the facts and feelings of the patterns. Don’t let your mind wander into the analysis of “why” you have the pattern or HOW to solve it. Just observe! You can analyze and address the pattern later (see below); for now, just witness without judging.
Also, ask people you trust to help you see the patterns. Our blind spots are called “blind” for a reason; we just don’t see them. But they’ll be clear as day to others.
Step 2: Discover The Hidden Payoff
Behind every negative pattern, there is an unconscious benefit or payoff. For example, your pattern of conflict with love relationships has caused break-ups several times, and now your resume reflects that pattern, too.
The key to interrupting negative patterns is to understand this: we generally don’t keep repeating behaviors unless, on some level, we gain from them.
These hidden reasons are known as “hidden payoffs" and they either help you get more of something you want or avoid something you don’t want.
In the example above, the person in constant conflict with a significant other could be using the conflict to cover up deep insecurity with his/her self-worth. The conflict, in effect, helps to avoid getting rejected or hurt.
Or the conflict could stem from uncensored outspokenness. The person may have an oppressive situation at home, and being excessively frank at work may allow him/her to feel powerful and self-expressed in at least one arena of life.
Look For (and Create) Positive Patterns
One of the best ways to disrupt the negative patterns that may be wreaking havoc with your life is to also study the positive patterns in your life. For these can be “grafted” onto your negative patterns with great success.
For example, you can utilize the discipline you’ve always had around working out regularly to stop using credit to finance your lifestyle.
Consider your negative patterns as the old neuron pathways in your brain.
Hypnosis is a powerful tool to help you to create new neuron pathways at an accelerated rate and with greater ease.
